i used to love HIM

perhaps it was the enigma or the allure of everyone wanting what i had. maybe it was the fact that you weren't what everyone thought i should have or need. whispers of he's not to be trusted infiltrated the processes of my brain allowing he said she said to be what i said. they say you don't know what you have until it's gone. now all is left is awkward stares and longing wondering what ifs , and why someone else is standing where you should be. what's meant to be will be even if it's not now it will happen..only if it's supposed to.

the eyes never lie.

they say the eyes hold the tales the soul guards and keeps safe. unlocked only for those who deserve to see the story beyond the mask. to be discovered rather than told to look into the eyes is to look into pain, happiness, lies and the truth. have you ever looked someone in the eyes no words said, none needed. but you know he/she is the one that holds the last ingredient needed to fill the recipe for love? it's scary in a way but at the same time you both know the other is the one in which was destined for you.

man in the mirror

at what point do we realize that rebellion isn't always the right thing to do? is it before or after we've lost something or someone we know we can never get back? pride is a hell of a thing meant to show the other person that we have "standards" and "convictions"..pride is nothing but insecurities wrapped in bullshit to feed our egos. to tell us that we are doing the right thing, when in all honesty we know we aren't but when we realize it..it's too late. words were said that we can't take back and apologizes mean nothing because the bond was broken for that moment and time. even if one did apologize would we really mean it? i mean considering that at that moment that is what we felt, can one really apologize for their feelings? actions maybe but feelings idk..if i could strip away my pride right now i would but i can't so until then i'm on a journey one breath at a time.




hey mike "If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with.”

misguided reflections

one thing i absolutely love is observing people. people have always told me when i look at them it's as if i'm looking into their soul. perhaps that's true but i have always been able to see past the facade. more often then not i wonder why people do things they know do not please them, or they just wouldn't do had all those people been around. is being a part of the "in" crowd really that important? ..to be continued

the devil's advocate

I've always hoped to grow up and be a child my mother was proud of. It's like a tug of war battle between the me that's trying to find the promise land, and the me that's trying to live for today light one in the air and be worry free. This split in personalities often causes me to feel guilty because she expects more out of me. I can give more but the battle tosses back and forth between the lines of sin and salvation. I guess it's a fine line we all walk trying to save our souls while at the same time maintaining the care free spirits that lay ready to escape us. One day the fighting will be over and it will be interesting to see who has won the WAR, because in the end there can only be one winner.

words unspoken

have you ever wondered why it's so hard to find the right words with some people. and with others they never stop flowing from your soul. it seems as though we can never say what we really want or need at the time until the only person left is ourselves to hear those words.

forbidden fruit.

Have you ever wanted something or someone so badly even if its forbidden. For whatever reason you are unable to attain said person or thing, yet the thrill makes it worthwhile. You are left wonderin what brought you to this place and morals tested because some where down the line the line between forbidden and what your hearts become one